All I want for Christmas (EXPLICIT)

My Christmas list...as envisioned by my five year old nieceI know there are a number of folks who will want to chastise me based on the title alone, but that's what I celebrate. More on that later. Without further ado, Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones. 

But in the meantime, if you celebrate something else, may this post send happy holiday wishes to you. And even if you don't celebrate a single thing, I'm still going to send some love and positive energy your way. Here's to life, living, and love - headed YOUR way; like it or not.

Oh no he di'int!!! Did I just manage to wish my readers some positive love without rattling off the usual list of holidays? Yup. I sure did.

::pauses for dramatic effect and applause:: 

So what the hell was the point of that, exactly?

Good question. Typically, this is my least favorite time of year. For many years, this is the time where things come to a boil. This is the season where money, time, finances, obligations, and a shamefully commercial holiday come to a head. Oh, and did I mention that although I celebrate Christmas (without doing so at the expense or ridicule of other holidays), I do so by celebrating it without any references to Christ.

What? How could that possibly be? Christmas without Christ? What kind of crap is this?!

Undoubtedly, the mere mention of this way of living life will strike a nerve with some people. It's not meant to be derogatory or insulting, but those who know me know that I do not subscribe to organized religion...in any form. I do not believe in blind allegiance. However, if this is your first time experiencing me, rest assured that I don't live my life under the guise of my beliefs being superior to all humanity. Personally, I think we all have our own paths. If your way of thinking works for you, and mine works for me, then I guess no harm no foul. Enjoy.

So, now that that's out of the way...what is on my Christmas list this year? Not a whole lot. I'm thankful to be at a stage in my life where I'm content with a fairly minimal number of items. Actually, my "wish list" is empty.

There are a few things I want (or want to do) for Christmas this year, though:

• To continue to appreciate the love my family and friends have generously shared with me over the past few months. When my marriage dropped out from under my feet toward the early part of this summer, I was in a serious tailspin. While the most stable and loving part of my life seemed to disappear down the drain overnight, I experienced some significant highs as well. To my friends, family, and loved ones...thank you for being there. Your love and support was the best gift you could have given me this year. There were some pretty devestating and heart wrenching lows, but it was refreshing to share some of those highlights with you as well.
• To continue to explore and embrace myself for who I am. All of my flaws, my imperfections, my seemingly spontaneous adventures, my creativity...it's all me. I've been so focused over the past few years on a bill paying version of myself that I totally lost sight of who I was. It has only been recently that I began to reconnect and learn more about me. Who am I? What am I looking to work for and get out of life? What is my true purpose in life?
• To let myself simply live and enjoy the moment. Wherever it is. Whatever it might be. It's time to slow down and not let the artificial rat race set the stage. This is my show, baby. You're free to come on in, check it out, and share in the moment. You're also free to disagree, to shake your head at me in disgust, or act however you feel...the door will always be there for you, whether you're comin' or goin'.
• To muster up the courage to really dig below the surface and get in touch with myself. This is going to be a year with minimal frustrations and limitations. Think that sounds like a pipe dream? I don't think so. Reality is comprised of many facets. One facet is reality as we know it. Our life. Our circumstances. Our situations. Our lived experiences. But, I am not losing sight that reality is ALSO comprised of situations and scenarios we construct. I've continued - and will continue - to cut the bullshit that interferes with this vision. Life changes. People change. Adapting to the here and now is key.
• To genuinely value the seemingly mundane and unimportant moments of life. Some of the most routine aspects of life have lead to really memorable and worthwhile moments for me.
• To take a few moments and honor my loved ones (including those who are no longer with us). I still can't bring myself to remove my late Uncle Bill (who left us June 2010) from my address book. I had the good fortune of sharing some deeply personal moments and frustrations with him...and in creating some wild and crazy moments in Saratoga Springs, NY together. I love that I have so many fond memories of him, and that I can still feel his presence weighing in at just the right times. Thanks bud. I hope you're rockin' out and shooting some pool wherever you are. Keep a seat at the bar for me, ok? For my loved ones that are still here, I hope we'll have more opportunities to share our love (whatever level we may be connecting on) and enjoying our time together...whenever that may be.
• ...and lastly, I want to continually appreciate moments where peace, happiness, and optimism manifest itself in my life. I want to continue to wish my friends (and even enemies) well. Life is too short to let our disdain of the other interfere. You may not like me (and vice versa), but we're occupying the same planet. Be cool, and we can respectfully agree to disagree...or part company. 

I'm also grateful to experience Christmas through the eyes of a child. My adorable five year old niece really inspired me to revisit what Christmas means to me this year. What does Christmas mean or look like to someone who has lost an incredible wife, in-laws, and other family members? Short answer...not full of love and optimism. However, I would be remiss if I did not acknowledge that where some love was lost or faded away, other relationships and kinds of love have begun to emerge as gifts in their own way.

...but to a five year old, Christmas seems to represent so much more. Seeing her excitement of meeting Santa Claus at the mall was priceless. Before some of you prepare to rail me on contributing to the "problem" of Christmas, commericialism, consumerism, capitalism, whatever -ism you're ready to slay me under - chill the fuck out for a minute and take a breather. Life isn't all about slighting humanity and degrading or minimizing other people of the world. It truly CAN be about a shared moment of love and good intentions. Really.

This was about something much bigger than all of the usual targets of the holiday season. This was not a moment to celebrate crazed bargain basement shoppers ready to pepper spray their competition to get that savings at a box store. This isn't about the public desire to lure shoppers out immediately after Thanksgiving dinner for some amazing deals. This isn't about a moment focused on figuring how to herd the sheep of the public at large into stalls and malls.

The moment that struck me most was when she and I were at the house. While she was busily crafting her list with my stepmother in the kitchen, I jokingly mentioned that I didn't have a list to give to Santa Claus. Wouldn't you know, this creative five year old sprung to life and immediately began going to work on the drawing you see for this blog post. She wanted me to have a list to give Santa - and in her best guess she thought I would really like a tractor for Christmas. 

Absolutely adorable. Who would guess that this little bundle of energy was going to help Uncle Rob come up with a list for Santa Claus? To see the genuine happiness and thoughtfulness she had was heartwarming. This - matched with the excitement and optimism of meeting Santa in the mall so he could deliver her list to the North Pole - was a magical moment.

That was powerful. Is the story too fantastic? Too full of misguided belief and a false sense of hope? For some, perhaps. But what about those who insist on living in a story of despair? A story of mistrust or hatred for society? A story which chooses to allow its star character to simply be beaten down and relegated to a powerless observer role? Why can't the author develop the character - empowering it with the ability to write itself out of a bad story and into something new. Something different. Something that is truly what the character would achieve in an ideal world. Oh, if only such a lofty goal was practical.

I've got news for you. We all write our own stories. Yes, we are partially products of our environment - but more importantly, we are empowered to change our situations and our lives. 

WE ARE WRITING OUR OWN STORY. WHETHER THROUGH ACTION OR INACTION, WE ARE TELLING AND DEVELOPING OUR STORYLINES.

Don't worry about finishing off the stories which bring you down. Those can always be revisited. This time, let's start with an empty sheet of paper or an empty document. You may not be interested in making a wish list or creating a new story at this moment of your life, but think about it...How you use this space is up to you. Fill it with a few thoughts or words and just see where your imagination or your mind takes you.

Be cool, and keep it phunky.

Rob

Comments

[nancy lee destiny]

awe ;-)